"You can get through anything if you stay put in today."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom. There's something for everyone! I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson: "You can get through anything if you stay put in today."

An old adage that is commonly used in time of stress or discord is "one day at a time."  Each day will bring you joy and sorrow, sweet and bitter.  Make the most of every day of your life, and those moments which are good and bad.  When a problem comes up, or you become immersed in crisis, the temptation to run away from the problem is great.  Ignoring or checking out when things get tough can be a seductive and tempting option indeed.  But, instead of simply shutting down or running away, you are best served to deal with your discord head-on.  By staying firmly grounded in the issues which are in front of you, you will be able to deal with them and to move on with your life -- in peace and fulfillment.


Visit Regina's website here.

"Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!  I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying."

Even people who seem to live the most charmed of lives can occasionally suffer setbacks.  They can happen to even the very best of us.  Don't bottle up your resentment or disappointment.  Feel it!  Express it, yell it, shout it from the rooftops!  (Well... just not too loudly!)  But once the crying stops, you need to calm yourself, plan your next move -- and do it.  No one can solve your problems for you. Heck, sometimes you can't even solve your own problems!  But if you don't try, nothing will ever be accomplished.  Make the commitment to actively change your life in those manageable areas, and watch the changes unfold.

Visit Regina's website here.

"Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!  I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about."

Does your life feel like it's so much harder than everyone else's?  Are you constantly looking around at your friends, your family, and those people on Facebook that you went to school with and thinking, "Damn, these people have perfect lives!"  The truth is that we really don't know what someone's life looks like on the inside.  The person in public who brags about their wealth, their great marriage, or their amazing kids may be doing just that -- bragging.  Who knows what really happens when they walk through their front doors?  The same can be said for someone who smiles and tries to seem brave when life is throwing them some hard times.  We can also try to be more understanding of those who complain when their lives seem so effortless; the truth is that we just don't know what someone else's life is truly like.  Stop comparing your own to something that you don't fully understand.  Don't judge.  Life is hard enough for all of us.




Visit Regina's website here.

"It's OK to let your children see you cry."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!  I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "It's OK to let your children see you cry."

You may not realize how naturally intuitive children are.  Although they're human like the rest of us, kids have not yet been conditioned to think as adults do.  Their innocence gives them a refreshingly honest, loving view of the world and its inhabitants.  Because of these things, kids are naturally more in tune with the feelings of other people.  Children can perceive your fear and sorrow whether you express it or not, but doing so may be reassuring for them.  Kids don't always realize that adults can feel scared, sad, or indignant at the ways of the world just as they may do sometimes.  Crying isn't always a sign of weakness; it takes strength to show someone how vulnerable you are as you're shedding tears.



Visit Regina's website here.

"Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!  I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present."

What's in the past is over and done forever, but that might not stop some of us from reliving those painful memories.  It can be really hard to live with past regrets, past hurts, and past transgressions.  If you have done wrong, seek forgiveness from others as well as from yourself.  If someone else has wronged you, strive to forgive; even in cases where forgiveness seems like light-years away, you can at least forgive yourself for allowing feelings of resentment or distrust to rule over you.  Instead of being a victim and a slave to your past, try to examine things with the intention of learning valuable lessons that can carry over into your present and future.  Don't allow previous traumas to break you.  Be brave.  Be strong.  Put the past in its place, and embrace the future with a renewed sense of self.




Visit Regina's website here.

"When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!  I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile."

Regina has sure said a mouthful here!  You should always try to take the best possible care of yourself.  As we all know, chocolate isn't exactly health food for the body, but it sure can make the mind and soul happy!  They say that dark chocolate can actually be good for the heart; don't take my word for it, though, feel free to Google away!  I think that her point is that sometimes, a little indulgence in a guilty pleasure is what makes life worth living.  Go ahead, enjoy your life a bit!



Visit Regina's website here.

"Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!  I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck."

I'm sure that most people reading this have already gone well beyond their first paychecks by now!  But if you haven't, do consider starting to save now.  100 years ago, the average human life expectancy was less than 50 years.  We're living well into our 80s now in many parts of the world!  However, old age can be expensive.  Even though we think we'll be young forever, we will all eventually need to slow down and grow up -- if we're lucky!  Do the best you can to take care of yourself, physically, emotionally, and financially.  Remember that needs must come before wants. 



Visit Regina's website here.

Try to see the big picture and put something away for those far-off rainy days.  You will thank your past self someday.

"It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!  I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it."

Some may see this musing to be somewhat blasphemous.  But remember, you can love someone and still get angry with them at the same time.  Think back to when you were a child.  Sometimes, you wanted things that weren't good for you.  Did your parents agree to give into your demands, throwing caution to the wind and ignoring your safety or well-being?  Of course not!  Did you get angry with them, failing to see what their intentions were?  Heck, yes!

Our relationship with God is much the same way as the one with our parents.  It is His job to guide and protect us.  Sometimes, the things that He does are beyond our comprehension (and may well always be!), and getting angry about loss or pain is natural.  God knows and understands this.  Remember to make up with Him once your anger has subsided, though.





Visit Regina's website here.

"Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!  I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone."

"Misery loves company."  This old chestnut is pretty well-worn into the collective subconscious.  When we share our disappointments with someone who can relate, life doesn't seem to hurt so much.  People who are hurting over the same loss can find strength and comfort in grieving together.  Even if you're crying and the other parties involved are not, accept the love and help of those around you who wish to be there for you in your time of emotional need.  Chances are good that in the future, they'll need to be with you, too, when their time comes. 


Visit Regina's website here.

"You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!  I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "You don't have to win every argument.  Agree to disagree."

It's never easy to argue with someone unpleasantly, especially someone that you love.  However, because we're all human, we've all got our own personal convictions.  Sometimes, these are so deeply held that we just can't understand why someone else's would be any different.  When the person is close to us, or is someone that we really respect, it can be really hard to wrap our minds around this difference.  We may get wrapped up in trying to "convince" others that our way is the right one.  But guess what?  That other person's thoughts and feelings likely run just as deep as yours do.  You won't always be able to convince everyone of everything.  Don't worry about it.  When you put your ego's need to be right on the back burner, you can agree to disagree.  This is a big world, and there's room for opinions of all kinds.

Visit Regina's website here.

"Pay off your credit cards every month."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!
I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "Pay off your credit cards every month." 

Oh boy, this one's a toughie for some people!  I do my best to pay my bills on time, but hey, sometimes it's hard to remember every last thing.  And we've all had our share of financial crises from time to time.  Things happen sometimes.  Cars break.  People get sick and need things that their insurance may not cover.  Things at home need to be fixed.  Clothing emergencies occur (and I'm talking about actual wardrobe malfunctions, not "Oooh my favorite store is having a shoe sale!).  Holidays come and go, along with the often high expectations of our loved ones.  And... let's face it... sometimes our favorite store has a shoe sale that we just can't resist!  When money comes in slow, it seems to go out quickly.  The trick is to live within our means.  We need to take a look around us, and really prioritize what we need over what we want.  Paying our bills are a legitimate "need."  If you're able to pay off your credit cards 100% every month, you'll sleep a lot better knowing that your charges aren't out there garnering crazy amounts of interest.  If you cannot do this, at least get your minimums paid... but then consider doing the work to get as far out of debt as you can.  Life is so much sweeter when you have lots of room on those credit cards for rainy days.

Visit Regina's website here.

"Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!
I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  ""Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does."

People often worry unnecessarily about what other people think of them.  It's human nature!  We want to look just right; we can become consumed with looking the part, acting like we know everything, speaking with confidence.  "Fake it 'til you make it" is an oft-heard mantra in the self-help game.  It's not terrible advice at all, but sometimes you have to take a step back and realize that most people are too absorbed in their own needs to be confident, to look great, and to sound intelligent -- just like you are!  Learn to laugh at yourself sometimes.  Realize that you are good enough as you are.  Aspire to your dreams, but never feel the need to put on airs or to feel shame for the person you are.  If you screw up, laugh and learn.  Then, when you're ready, try again!



Visit Regina's website here.

"Life is too short to waste time hating anyone."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!
I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "Life is too short to waste time hating anyone."

If we're very lucky, most of us will see about seventy years worth of laughter, tears, fun, fear, garbage, and awesomeness.  We'll have dreams and we'll see them through, or maybe they won't work out at all.  But we should all aspire to fill our lives with as much love as we can -- love for ourselves, for each other, for the world.  Hate is a difficult emotion to handle, because it poisons everything that it touches.  Emotions like hurt and fear often turn into hate.  It can be hard to control.  I'm not going to say "If someone hurts you, forgive them and everything will be wonderful and you can love them again!"  It doesn't always work like that.  Stuff's complicated.  But one thing I do know is that if you dwell on all of the bad things which are done to you, and obsess over the people that you dislike or even hate, you'll be taking time away from doing what you love -- and you could also be spending that time with the ones who love you.   Hating can be a tempting thing indeed.  But even if you can't forgive or forget readily, remember not to lose sight of the fact that you are in control of how you share your emotional time.  Don't harm yourself with negativity.  Try to rise above it and place your focus elsewhere.


Visit Regina's full list of life lessons on her site, here. :)

"When in doubt, just take the next small step."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!  This week, I am reflecting on the following lesson:  "When in doubt, just take the next small step."

These days, life seems to be more complicated than it has ever been.  Or, is it?  We all remember simpler times when choices were a lot easier, and our paths might have seemed a lot more clear-cut.  When you simplify everything and focus on the path ahead of you -- the small step in front of you -- things will seem more manageable.  When you're overwhelmed, try breaking things down and just go for that small step.  Those little victories can add up to a big success!



Visit Regina's website here.

"Life isn't fair, but it's still good."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!

I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "Life isn't fair, but it's still good."  There are many inequalities in everyone's lives -- you're always bound to find someone richer, happier, more fulfilled, healthier... I could go on and on.  But there's always something wonderful, special, and beautiful in your own life for which you can be grateful.  Don't dwell on what you lack in life all the time.  Appreciate what you have, too.  Plenty of folks around the world have much less.  Life isn't always perfect, but there's so much to appreciate!


Visit Regina's website here.

Regina Brett's 45 Life Lessons

Regina Brett wrote this column several years ago. Many sources attribute this to a 90-year-old woman, but Regina was actually about 50 when she dispensed these pearls of wisdom. Enjoy!






~~~

Originally published in The Plain Dealer on Sunday, May 28, 2006

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.