Showing posts with label protecting yourself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label protecting yourself. Show all posts

Thursday, September 16, 2021

How Can I Help Myself Feel Better After a Bad Day?



Everyone has had a bad day every now and again. Everyone has experienced rejection, loss, and crappy times. I’m no exception of this. Believe me, plenty of people have trampled on my hopes and dreams. It’s easy to let things affect you in a negative way — I’m not immune to that, either.


But I’ve learned a lot a out how to deal with it, and I love to share my methods. In fact sometimes, you need to just pick yourself up and figure out a way to get back into the game. Sometimes, I just let myself feel it, so I can deal with it.


https://anchor.fm/questuary/episodes/Coping-Because-I-Feel-Like-Shit-Also--Someone-Blocked-Me-On-Twitter-eonkqd

Thursday, April 15, 2021

Hit It and Quit It? The Real Reason Your Man Isn’t Calling Back After Sex

 Sometimes, an undeniable spark will result in a fun flirty chase. But, after weeks or months of playing hard to get, you’ve finally taken it to the next level. But wait — why’s he leaving?




It’s hard to get why men are so invested in you before sex, but withdrawn after? Aside from the chemical components which we’ve discussed earlier this year, and the guilty projecting behavior, there’s another important factor at play.


Basically, some people - male and female - will take what’s offered and move right on. They will take advantage of the giving nature of someone else, and have no chance to give anything back.


People tend to fall in love when they feel useful and needed. If your mate seems like a nice person otherwise, give them a chance to give to you. Make that connection take it to another level.


If they’re not open to contact after this, then they’re probably too selfish to bother with anyway. But don’t forget the lesson — love and connection grows with giving and receiving. Allow others the chance to give. It feels good for a reason, after all.

Monday, February 15, 2021

We Spent a Night Together, But He Didn’t Call Me Back. Why?

Have you ever been deeply in love with someone, spend a whirlwind of a few days with them... only to be iced out or ghosted completely? Why the hell do men do that?


One answer might be surprising: our post-coital emotions and behavior are influenced by body chemistry.




After sex, women tend to experience higher levels of the hormone oxytocin, which is released steadily from physical touch. The fastest way to receive it is skin to skin contact, and engaging in physical intimacy will cause a woman’s body to create even more of it.


At the same time, a man’s testosterone levels plummet post-sex, especially during the act of post-coital cuddling, as their oxytocin raises. It makes sense, considering the testosterone producers running wild during arousal and intercourse. Once his hormone levels crash, his body may begin craving another hit to slake its need for more supply. So he may be, without realizing it, disengaging to go do something manly and productive.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

The Importance of Alone Time

In a world where we're used to always being connected with others, we cannot underestimate how important it is to unplug, unwind, and just spend time alone.

If you're exhausted after a long week of work and personal obligations, there is nothing wrong with kicking back with some ice cream and your favorite TV show.  If you're able to do so, make the time to spend an entire day by yourself.  This doesn't need to be often, unless you need lots of time to recharge your batteries. 

Try to set aside some time weekly, or even every few days, for a small mental vacation.  Give yourself time to meditate, to read, even to cook or to plan your week.  If you're able to set aside larger blocks of time, make an effort to have an "alone date" once a month, perhaps for an entire day or night.  By making opportunities to keeping yourself company, you'll also be better able to relate to others as well.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Spiritual Awakenings: Choosing to Work With the Divine

A conscious choice to work with the divine can also help in your quest for a spiritual awakening.  The wish, need, and desire to change are all vital parts of your quest.  However, you also need to combine those things with action.  We have already discussed what prompts the desire for change, but the time for action must come when the desire begins to move you in that direction. 

It is OK to give into the feelings that you are experiencing.  I often advise people to "go with the instinct," and never is this more true than during your journey along the path to a spiritual discovery.  You must let down your guard and become willing to take on the spiritual energy around you as you give back your own. 

This does not mean that you need to give up on yourself or your own abilities, preferrin g that your higher power does all the work for you while you're doing nothing.  It does mean that you must give up your negativity, your despair, and your pain that hinders your spiritual and emotional development.  Instead, you must replace these things with faith and action, which will lead to a higher awareness and a greater level of happiness for yourself. 

Allow yourself to heal, and let the universe play its part in your healing.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Dealing With Ideas That Limit You



In short, get rid of them!

When you have beliefs, ideas, or impressions that curtail your own emotional development, you are committing a true act of cruelty upon yourself.  You're hindering your own progress and putting roadblocks up in the way of your own happiness.

Self-reflection can be an important part of growing up, no matter what age you may be.  Try getting out of your own comfort zone from time to time.  Dip your toes into new and unusual places -- it may be exciting or even frightening, but it will definitely expand your mind and show you cool new ways of living and thinking.

When you remove your old, limiting ways of thinking, you are opening yourself up to wild new possibilities for happiness and fulfillment!

Monday, April 28, 2014

Wishing for a Spiritual Awakening

You must also try to keep your potential awakening in the proper perspective.  The common perception of a stereotypical spiritual experience is a magical, mystical transformation that occurs inside of us.  However, this experience is not one that will simply happen out of nowhere.  In order to embark on the spiritual path, you open your mind and your heart to the deity of your choice (or even just to the power of the universe).  You need to be willing to bare and share your soul with this higher power, and to become accepting that there are larger forces in the universe than simply our own wills.  As powerful as we are, and as much as change must begin inside us, we also need to become attuned to the energies of the universe.  It is the desire to change our lives, to prepare to step into the unknown, and to do it by ourselves which will put us in the right direction.  While change does come from within, most of us are unwilling to change our lives under normal, comfortable circumstances.  It is only when change is absolutely necessary that we are most likely to make it.  For example, we may suffer for years in a relationship that makes us unhappy, but we may be comfortable there; or, perhaps we toil away for a long time with a job that we hate.  We may stay in these negative patterns because, while unpleasant, are comfortable and familiar.  But if we should be dumped by the other person, or fired from our job, we are then forced to open our eyes and make a change.  Spirituality does not work that way; the desire must fuel the action.

Friday, April 25, 2014

"You can get through anything if you stay put in today."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom. There's something for everyone! I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson: "You can get through anything if you stay put in today."

An old adage that is commonly used in time of stress or discord is "one day at a time."  Each day will bring you joy and sorrow, sweet and bitter.  Make the most of every day of your life, and those moments which are good and bad.  When a problem comes up, or you become immersed in crisis, the temptation to run away from the problem is great.  Ignoring or checking out when things get tough can be a seductive and tempting option indeed.  But, instead of simply shutting down or running away, you are best served to deal with your discord head-on.  By staying firmly grounded in the issues which are in front of you, you will be able to deal with them and to move on with your life -- in peace and fulfillment.


Visit Regina's website here.

Friday, February 7, 2014

"You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!  I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "You don't have to win every argument.  Agree to disagree."

It's never easy to argue with someone unpleasantly, especially someone that you love.  However, because we're all human, we've all got our own personal convictions.  Sometimes, these are so deeply held that we just can't understand why someone else's would be any different.  When the person is close to us, or is someone that we really respect, it can be really hard to wrap our minds around this difference.  We may get wrapped up in trying to "convince" others that our way is the right one.  But guess what?  That other person's thoughts and feelings likely run just as deep as yours do.  You won't always be able to convince everyone of everything.  Don't worry about it.  When you put your ego's need to be right on the back burner, you can agree to disagree.  This is a big world, and there's room for opinions of all kinds.

Visit Regina's website here.


Tuesday, January 28, 2014

How to Have a Spiritual Awakening

Maybe you want to know how to bring about your own spiritual awakening.  The invocation of your own spiritual awakening is a difficult and ambitious undertaking.  You cannot turn a spiritual awakening on and off; it must simply happen.  However, you can get yourself into the right mindset to become ready for it.  When you open your heart and mind, you are in a much better position to receive direction and enlightenment from the divine.  Because the spirituality of every individual is completely different, you cannot expect that what works for another person will work for you, and vice versa.  If you're letting nature take its course, you cannot force a spiritual awakening.  Just relax.  It'll happen in its own time.

Friday, January 24, 2014

"Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!
I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  ""Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does."

People often worry unnecessarily about what other people think of them.  It's human nature!  We want to look just right; we can become consumed with looking the part, acting like we know everything, speaking with confidence.  "Fake it 'til you make it" is an oft-heard mantra in the self-help game.  It's not terrible advice at all, but sometimes you have to take a step back and realize that most people are too absorbed in their own needs to be confident, to look great, and to sound intelligent -- just like you are!  Learn to laugh at yourself sometimes.  Realize that you are good enough as you are.  Aspire to your dreams, but never feel the need to put on airs or to feel shame for the person you are.  If you screw up, laugh and learn.  Then, when you're ready, try again!



Visit Regina's website here.

Monday, December 2, 2013

How to Cut Toxic People & Negative Friends Out of Your Life

Connections with other people are one of life's greatest joys. Interacting with those that you love and who love you can make the difference between an awful day and an amazing one.

However, we all have people in our lives who are less than perfect. In fact, no one in this world is perfect! There will be times when our best friends, loved ones, and life partners will have bad days. They might grumble, they might be negative, or they may even be snarky and mean to us. Or, we might be the ones who are feeling negative, and will do the same to other people. This is normal and natural -- everyone has good days and bad. If we love each other, we'll put up with it, because the bad is often outweighed by the good.

But there are also people who don't quite fit this mold. You know the types I'm talking about -- the drama queens, the judgmental jerks, the negativity sinks, the time wasters, negative friends, and the users. (I have a book about emotional vampires, which you can peruse here, which goes into greater depth about the types of emotional vampires that we deal with on a day to day basis.) When you care about someone, but they are depleting you, perhaps it's time to have a heart-to-hear with them about what's going on. It is okay to speak up and explain to your negative friends when your needs aren't getting met. Don't assume that you're being selfish just because you're standing up for yourself and your own well-being. (Also… here's a radical thought: What's so wrong with being a bit selfish now and again, anyway?) Dump that toxic friend! You do not need to spend time with someone who's draining away your energy.

If you've already had these conversations with those negative friends, and you're still searching for ways to end a friendship gracefully, chances are that your needs are still not being met. I'm assuming that you've already taken a good, long look at the friendship, including the parts that you had played in your dealings with this emotional vampire.

You may be feeling as though you've tried all of the solutions that you can -- speaking from the heart, setting limits, enforcing boundaries, or saying "no" once in awhile, only to continue to be met with disrespect, negativity, or a lack of reciprocity. It's now time for you to cut this toxic friendship from your life, so that you can invest that time in focusing on bigger and better things.

There are two ways that you can go about this: The easy way (which is often harder!), and the hard way (which is often easier!). Either can be effective; it simply depends on the type of negative person you are cutting out of your life.

The easy one has one basic step: Just cut them out. Quit calling or texting them. Stop taking their calls, unfriend them online, quit inviting them to your functions, and stop going to theirs. If you have mutual friends, you must also resist the temptation to talk about them with those friends. The drawback of this is that there could be some backlash, particularly if you're close. However, if this "friend" has done an egregious thing to you, betrayed a major trust, or committed some significant act of betrayal, it may be the way to go.

The hard way involves keeping the negative friend in your life. However, you'll simply be spending less time with them. (I must admit, I've done this method before! It works!) This method is much better for people that you do like, but are just too difficult to be around all the time. Maybe they're very high-maintenance, very negative, or just really different from you in uncomfortable ways. Perhaps they don't respect your boundaries and don't seem to respond well to discussions or other attempts to correct it. However, if they genuinely mean well and are not going out of their way to hurt you, the "hard way" is worth a try. It will take a lot more time, but will also be much easier on your friendship. Encourage this person to branch out and do new things -- this way, there'll be less time for them to bug you. ;) Pare down your communication: for example, if you speak on the phone every day or two, try cutting down to a couple times a week. If you hang out every week, try canceling from time to time and see if you can get it down to a couple of times a month. Make a plan to reduce the amount of time that you spend with him or her. Write it down on your calendar if you need to, but stick to the plan. On the occasions that you do talk or hang out, keep things positive and cordial. I'd also recommend that, during any conversation that you do have, you try to insert details about things that are keeping you so busy -- talk about your kids, your job, any hobbies or interests or obligations which might take up your time. You don't need to complain about these types of things (unless they truly are driving you nuts!), but making sure to acknowledge them will help take the edge off with your friend.
If you have mutual friends, and you try the above method, you may be required to spend time with this person anyway. That's okay! Sometimes being in a group with the toxic person can make things a lot more palatable. You'll both have other people to talk with, and you can even spend time together in a more controlled setting.

A few words of caution: If you're trying valiantly to keep things civil and the other person is not being accepting of the way things are, things could get dicey. Try the following phrases to diffuse tension:

"I understand."

"I'm sorry."

"Let's talk about this later, when we've both had time to calm down."

Whether you actually agree with the above statements is not the point. Diffusing a tough situation is the name of the game. Anyone who is going to throw tantrums, though, might need you to revert back to "the easy method."

Does this technique sound passive-aggressive? I know that some aspects of it certainly are. However, when you're dealing with an emotional vampire, sometimes it's much easier to do things gently as it helps to minimize the drama which is the emotional vampire's lifeblood. It also helps to preserve your sanity, as well.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Words of Wisdom from Mother Teresa

 It is said that this beautiful quote was written on Mother Teresa's bedroom wall.  Wise words indeed!

"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway. 
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway. 
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.   Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.   It was never between you and them anyway."

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Spiritual Awakening: The Dark Side

In some cases, an individual will experience an extremely intense spiritual awakening, which can also be likened to a spiritual emergency or crisis.  This is because the person cannot handle the experience.  The individual may not realize or understand what is happening to him or her.  Some people may mistakenly feel or believe that they are invincible, as if they have reached a point of ultimate enlightenment which disconnects them from reality.  I have heard some stories about people who have experienced a spiritual emergency due to loss or moments of extreme crisis, and have experienced moments of madness with this awakening.

A spiritual awakening can also come spontaneously to someone through a life-altering event, such as a medical problem like epilepsy, a stroke, or other condition that involves extreme pain or physical trauma.  A near-death experience can trigger a religious experience as well.  Psychosis, schizophrenia, and depression can not only cause a sacred experience, but can also be triggered by the spiritual awakening as well in people who are predisposed to mental illness.

Some people attempt to coax a spiritual awakening through drug use or dangerous meditation practices that I cannot recommend.  A spiritual experience can make someone feel a flood of very powerful, intense emotions and sensations all at once.  If the person is not yet ready for this experience, he or she can encounter physical, emotional, or mental health problems which may continue to be present long after the spiritual awakening has come and gone.  The individual may have reached a point of enlightenment or connection with the divine for a fleeting moment, but must also pay for these experiences with a lifetime of difficulties in return.  It is much better to allow the divine love of the universe to come to you and flow through you when you are truly ready, rather than simply when you feel you are ready.  For these reasons, I must recommend that you do not rush or force your awakening.  Instead, let it come at just the right moment; your higher power will know when you are ready to handle the experience.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Having an Awesome Life, Lesson #7: Small Victories Add Up

One important facet in leading a life of utter awesomeness is the concept of having goals.  Even the things that you think might be small, stupid, or unworthy can actually be very important pieces to your awesome life!

Make a list of goals that interest you.  Again, they don't need to all be insanely elaborate or ambitious -- it could be simple things like getting your hall closet organized, catching that new movie that you've been seeing ads for all week, or trying a new restaurant for dinner.  These things can really help on your journey to awesomeness, because even getting those small things accomplished can lead to a richer life experience.

Sometimes, we have small life goals... things that we've always wanted to do, yet never had the chance.  It might be something as simple as taking advantage of your vacation time and driving to some local tourist attraction that you've always thought about seeing.  Or, maybe you just want to make a phone call to reconnect with someone.  Get those little tasks accomplished!  You'll feel fantastic knowing that even a small victory can be an important one in leading an awesome life!

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Etiquette, Success, and Deutoronomy

The Bible is full life lessons.  Even if you aren't Christian, it is always a good idea to read it at least once in order to glean its lessons and to experience the richness of its literature.

One such important lesson is illustrated in the second chapter of Deuteronomy.  The wanderers consider waging war with various peoples as they encounter them in their travels, but instead they are advised by God to keep the peace.  Instead of pillaging, plundering, and helping themselves to the spoils which are not meant for them, God instructs them to pay for their food and water fairly, to behave graciously and not to harass or bother anyone across whom they come during this journey.


Not only is this prudent behavior in order to keep positive relationships with one's neighbors, but it is also important to remember that it's important to choose one's battles wisely.  If you are positive that you cannot win or make a positive impact in any way, then war is pointless as it wastes so many resources.


Deuteronomy 2

New International Version (NIV)
Wanderings in the Wilderness

2 Then we turned back and set out toward the wilderness along the route to the Red Sea,[a] as the Lord had directed me. For a long time we made our way around the hill country of Seir.

2 Then the Lord said to me, 3 “You have made your way around this hill country long enough; now turn north. 4 Give the people these orders: ‘You are about to pass through the territory of your relatives the descendants of Esau, who live in Seir. They will be afraid of you, but be very careful. 5 Do not provoke them to war, for I will not give you any of their land, not even enough to put your foot on. I have given Esau the hill country of Seir as his own. 6 You are to pay them in silver for the food you eat and the water you drink.’”

7 The Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you, and you have not lacked anything.

8 So we went on past our relatives the descendants of Esau, who live in Seir. We turned from the Arabah road, which comes up from Elath and Ezion Geber, and traveled along the desert road of Moab.

9 Then the Lord said to me, “Do not harass the Moabites or provoke them to war, for I will not give you any part of their land. I have given Ar to the descendants of Lot as a possession.”

10 (The Emites used to live there—a people strong and numerous, and as tall as the Anakites. 11 Like the Anakites, they too were considered Rephaites, but the Moabites called them Emites. 12 Horites used to live in Seir, but the descendants of Esau drove them out. They destroyed the Horites from before them and settled in their place, just as Israel did in the land the Lord gave them as their possession.)

13 And the Lord said, “Now get up and cross the Zered Valley.” So we crossed the valley.

14 Thirty-eight years passed from the time we left Kadesh Barnea until we crossed the Zered Valley. By then, that entire generation of fighting men had perished from the camp, as the Lord had sworn to them. 15 The Lord’s hand was against them until he had completely eliminated them from the camp.

16 Now when the last of these fighting men among the people had died, 17 the Lord said to me, 18 “Today you are to pass by the region of Moab at Ar. 19 When you come to the Ammonites, do not harass them or provoke them to war, for I will not give you possession of any land belonging to the Ammonites. I have given it as a possession to the descendants of Lot.”

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Latest Cancer Information From Johns-Hopkins

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook today.  I'm not vouching for the validity of it, as I am not a medical professional. However, I did want to post it here because it is definitely a concern that Americans have, as cancer rates in the USA are out of control.  Cancer is a frightening disease, both to have and also to witness in a loved one.  Take care of yourself, my friends!

Here is the post in its entirety, as well as the cancer cell pic that was included:

~~~





LATEST CANCER INFORMATION
from Johns Hopkins

AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY AND ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHNS HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY …


1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.

2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.

3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.

4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.

6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.

9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.


11. An effective way to battle cancer is to STARVE the cancer cells by not feeding it with foods it needs to multiple.

What cancer cells feed on:

a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Note: Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.


b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk, cancer cells will starved.

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes t o nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells.

To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).

e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water--best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines will become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.

13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor.

Anger, unforgiving and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.

16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

(PLEASE SHARE IT TO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT)

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Traits of a Sociopath

1. They are charming, and have a way with words.  There’s a tendency to be engaging and charismatic.  They aren’t shy or self-conscious; because of their disregard for acceptable social behavior, they will speak whenever they feel like it and often say whatever they think will make an impact.

2. They have an exaggerated sense of self-importance.  Sociopaths often see themselves as being better than everyone else, or “special” somehow.  They have an unrealistically enhanced view of themselves.  They will brag; they are opinionated, and overly self-assured.

3. They get bored easily.  A sociopath has a higher than average need for stimulation, and they are often prone to boredom.  Sociopaths seek out things that are exciting and novel.  They take chances and often engage in risky behavior, because they are easily bored.  They also lack self-discipline, and get bored with routine; failure to hold a job for an extended period of time can be a telling sign.

4. They lie.  The lies can big big, small, or anything in between.  Sociopaths think nothing of being dishonest.  At a sociopath’s best, he or she can be crafty and shrewd; at worst, they can be manipulative, deceitful, and sneaky in their dishonesty.

5. They manipulate people.  This doesn’t have to mean they’re deceptive, but often deceit can play a part in manipulation.  The difference between manipulation and dishonesty is the level of ruthlessness or lack of empathy present.  A true sociopath has little interest or awareness in the feelings of others; people are seen as sources of gratification, not as humans with emotions.

6. They have no remorse.  A sociopath will not have any concern for the sadness, pain, loss, or suffering of his or her victims.  Someone like this is seen as heartless and inconsiderate.  In fact, there is often a certain level of scorn or indifference concerning the sociopath’s victims.

7. They are shallow and superficial.  Someone like this has a limited spectrum of emotions.  He or she may display signs of caring or friendliness when necessary or beneficial, but check further; there may be nothing underneath to suggest much beneath the surface.

8. They are cold-hearted.  We’ve discussed the lack of empathy toward a sociopath’s victims, but there is also a lack of empathy for people in general.  A sociopath may be described as “a cold fish” -- they are inconsiderate and self-absorbed, with little room for interest in other people’s feelings.

9. They are parasites.  Often, a sociopath will intentionally manipulate others and become financially dependent on other people.  This doesn’t necessarily mean that they will con people out of direct cash; it may be as simple as failure to pay his or her own way, expecting other people to pick up the tab for his or her lifestyle.  This is often seen as selfishness, a lack of self-discipline, lack of motivation, an inability to behave responsibly or to follow through with responsibilities.

10. They will have problems controlling their emotions.  You will notice that a sociopath may have difficulty controlling his or her temper.  They may jump to conclusions, behave in haste, and lash out verbally or physically at other people when they are annoyed.  A sociopath’s patience is very limited, as are his or her ability to manage his or her feelings in a healthy way.

11. They are promiscuous.  Sociopaths often have shallow and brief sexual encounters and affairs.  Often, they have little discrimination in sexual partners, and are willing to have sex with virtually anyone.  A sociopath might have a history of engaging in multiple relationships at once, or a history of using coercion to get sex from others.  Sociopaths often take pride in boasting of their sexual conquests and activities as well.

12. Their behavior problems begin at a young age.  Before the teenage years, a sociopath likely already been committing unacceptable behaviors.  Young sociopaths often participate in activities including bullying, violence, setting fires, sexual behavior or activity, drugs or alcohol, running away from home, cheating, stealing, and vandalizing.

13. They don’t have life direction or long-term goals.  While a sociopath may talk a good game, there are often little or no attempts to follow through with goals as time passes.  There may be a history of failure or inability to develop long-term plans.  A sociopath may lack direction, both physically and mentally.  They may change jobs, residences, even circles of friends as time passes.

14. They are impulsive.  A sociopath may exhibit behaviors that clearly show action without thinking beforehand.  There are unable to deal with temptations, urges, or frustrations.  Sociopaths often commit reckless behaviors and engage in behaviors that are foolish or without thinking of the consequences.

15. They are irresponsible.  A sociopath may get the reputation for repeatedly failing to honor commitments or follow through on promises.  They may also fail to take care of obligations, such as ignoring bills or defaulting on loans, shirking responsibilities, performing tasks lazily, tardiness or absence to work, or failing to live up to agreements he or she has made.

16. They do not accept responsibility for their actions.  Sociopaths will often try to escape their responsibilities.  They may blame others for their own mistakes, or simply fail to acknowledge responsibilities in any way.  This often goes hand in hand with denial and manipulation of others.

17. They fall in and out of live easily.  Many of their relationships, including love and marriage, are brief and shallow.  When someone is lacking in the emotional skills to participate in a relationship, combined with a lack of ability to follow through with responsibilities, they will connect briefly but shallowly.  Such romantic connections are made easily and broken easily to them.

18. They may be juvenile delinquents.  Aside from simple behavior problems, a young sociopath will have trouble understanding or following basic societal laws or guidelines.  Between the ages of 13 and 18, sociopaths often commit crimes and engage in behavior that involves aggression, exploitation, and manipulation.

19. They fail to meet legal obligations or requirements.  If he or she has been in trouble with the law, it is not unusual for a sociopath to disregard or violate requirements which have been set for them; often due to being careless, deliberately ignoring notices, or failure to be in attendance when summoned.

20. They can disregard laws or rules in a number of ways.  A sociopath may violate a number of rules or laws, whether or not they are caught.  There may be pride or bragging involving getting away with criminal activity or violating rules.  Many sociopaths believe that they are “above” the rules.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Having an Awesome Life, Lesson #6: Being Prepared

A stitch in time, saves nine!
Life has often been compared to chess -- and chess, to life!  The similarities are easy to see... in order to do well, you often need to sacrifice.  There are also many ways to conquer what's in front of you, and the method to success is as varied as its participants.  However, I think that the biggest similarity of all is  this:  Both of them require strategy in order for you to come out on top.

While it's fine, and fun, to fly through life by the seat of your pants, preparation for the rough times is going to make a major difference between success and failure, happiness and sorrow.  "A stitch in time saves nine," goes the old proverb.  What you're able to take care of today, can help you enjoy a better life tomorrow.  What you fail to resolve now will come back to you, and it won't leave until you make it a point to take care of it.

Planning ahead is one of the most important steps in having an awesome life.  It doesn't sound particularly awesome, I know.  But, when you plan ahead by saving for a rainy day, or by taking care of something before it becomes a full-blown crisis, you're actually saving more than just time and effort.  You are saving yourself worry, stress, and hardship.  You are saving yourself from regrets and wasted time.  Let's face it, a crisis always costs a lot more to resolve than a small bump in the road!

By planning ahead, you're also left with more time to enjoy yourself, to relax and to have fun.  Security and order can actually bring about a tremendous sense of freedom!  Try using some of that chess strategy to give yourself an edge on a little extra happiness, and I promise you, your life will be much more awesome for the effort.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

How to Prepare for a Spiritual Awakening

Everyone is composed of three basic layers: our body (the physical), our mind (the intellectual), and our soul (the spiritual).  Caring for our bodies is a fairly straightforward business.  Mental health can have its variations, but there are many consistencies from one person to the next.  However, the spirituality of each person can vary wildly from one to the next.  Spirituality centers around exploring our origins and our destinations; where our souls originate and where they will be going after our bodies have ceased to be, as well as the exploration of our place in this world, life's purposes and meanings.  While we all possess our own individual soul, not everyone in the world is destined to experience a life-altering spiritual transformation. 

It can be difficult to find information about spirituality that meshes well with our own personal needs.  Reading, doing research, and talking to other people can be great ways to explore new ideas.  However, when you don't exactly know where to start or what sort of spirituality experiences that you are seeking, it can be frustrating and often feel like a futile, fruitless search that never ends. 

Most people who embark upon spiritual quests will tell you that the search for your own life purpose and meaning can be a lifelong endeavor.  Even when you are unsure of where you're going or how to get there, we all have the ability to listen to our hearts.  Deep inside all of us is a voice that's reassuring us of the right path for us, letting us know that there is something more to our lives than simply the physical realm around us.

Take heart; the universe is infinite and ever-expanding.  Regardless of the place you're in right now, your spiritual identity will grow and evolve with each passing day.  Spirituality is a malleable, changeable thing.  The longer a person lives, the more information he or she gains.  As time passes, our worldview will change and so will our hearts and minds along with it.  There is so much all around us, beside us, and within us that can help to contribute to a rich and vibrant spiritual life.

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